he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
