so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
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