haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize