The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
