i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize