Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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