You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
