its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
