you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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