When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You've changed since you got that strap on
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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