6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
