we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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