ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There r osticjed everywhere
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
