I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
