you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize