we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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