everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
