I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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