nut hugger
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
