new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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