A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You took a bar mat shot.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
