Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
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