I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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