No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
where are my eyebrows?
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