I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
