sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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