Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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