Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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