i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
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Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
is it fun? or sober?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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