Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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