Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
