so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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