Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
