you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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