i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
