That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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