do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Randomize
