It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
