Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
No I am not eating basil off your cock
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
