Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
