pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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