with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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