So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
