**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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