ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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