If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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