just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Im part way to drunk.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
