you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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