I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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