I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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