Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
