sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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