R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
