Will you blow on my dice?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
