I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
