did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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