I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
