Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
