wrigley field is MILF paradise
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize