I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
