I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
