So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
