Quick, to the slutcave!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
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as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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