so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
