So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
